50 Shades of Grey What say you?

The movie glamorizes and legitimizes both sexual and domestic violence. The story makes violence appear sexy. Many individuals are experimenting with these acts and relationships without understanding the dangers and consequences.

According to the Barna Research group 83% of Americans say that they are concerned about the moral condition of the nation. They are concerned about the breakdown of the family, a lack of civility, an increase in gambling, co-habitation, sexual immorality, abortion, profanity, drunkenness, homosexuality, rape, violence and pornography.

There is a crisis in America. The moral compass of this country has been broken. If this is so, then do we really need more books and movies that glamorize coercion, humiliation, degradation, stalking, isolation, manipulation, physical torture, intimidation, possessiveness, jealousy, and emotional and physical abuse?

Well, that is exactly what Fifty Shades of Grey is all about. It’s a movie that encourages sexual and human depravity through sexual perversions.

Fifty Shades of Grey is about a wealthy businessman by the name of Christian Grey. He meets Anastasia Steele or Ana Steele. She is a college student who is a shy, childlike woman. She is a virgin who lacks self-confidence and is naïve to the world around her. She becomes the target of a powerful, intimidating, older man, who puts her under contract to serve as a sexual “submissive sex slave.”  He woos her in his BDSM world.  That is the world of Bondage and discipline along with Submission and Masochism (Masochism is: sexual arousal through pain and submission)  Do we really need more of this kind of degrading imagery rolling around in our minds when we already see a steady stream of it on the Nightly News?

Pollsters and research groups are reporting to us, that when they do studies on violence against women, that exposure to pornography among men, is connected with:

1. More likelihood of forcing a women sexually
2. There is more likelihood of rape
3. Exposure to pornography creates, more sexually violent fantasies that serve to arouse and eventually are lived out
4. It influences men to engage in more sexual harassment toward women
5. It encourages men to use physical coercion to have sex
6. It encourages men to use verbal coercion to have sex
7. It encourages men to use drugs and alcohol to sexually coerce women

Along with that: Sex Offenders showed a high rate of using hard-core pornography:

• 67% were child molesters
• 53% were incest offenders
• 83% were rapists
• 39% of battered women, said that their partners had tried to get them, to act out pornographic scenes they had been shown.

The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey among women sends a message to men that this is what women really want.  That “no” really means “yes” and rape is permissible. It says that woman deep down want to be raped. The popularity of this book only feeds into these lies and further promotes our rape culture. The mainstreaming of this book also sends the message to women that they can “fix” violent, controlling men by being obedient and loving and doing what they say. Women then, become codependent and lose their voice, their dignity and their self-worth.

Some of you may have questions:

1. If it’s consenting, than how can you say it is abuse? Consent is not a black and white issue, but rather spans a broad range of issues. One’s ability or freedom to consent is often compromised by trauma, abuse, miseducation, lack of knowledge. In Christian Grey’s case he was molested as a child and this past trauma is being worked out through his present day perverted behavior. And Ana is fooled and manipulated by his deceptive convoluted ways of thinking and behaving. She becomes a victim of his past perversions and her own gullibility.  On this issue: You may want to share (to some degree) how you personally experienced that thought pattern. Perhaps there were times that you consented to in the past during the abuse but now looking back it was out of fear, manipulation, or obedience to higher authorities that you engaged in various behaviors.
2. What people do in private is nobody’s business: HIV/AIDS/STDs, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and other STDS are all done in private but also have public consequences. We are not telling you what you can and cannot do. We are working to educate people on the facts so that they can make more informed decisions. However, simply because you participate in these sex acts in private, does not make them harmless. These acts are a simulation, at best, of abuse and violence that objectifies and exploits those involved. One has only to think of the Boston Bomber. He was making bombs in private that proofed deadly on the streets of Boston.

As Christians and Moral People we need to stand against such unhealthy behavior. For me as a believer in Christ I look through the filter of God’s Word to lead and direct my ways.

I do have concerns, for the following reasons:

1. - Genesis 1:18-19 teaches that men and women are made in God's image; this means that all we do, including our love-making, should tell the world the truth about what God is like.
2. BDSM includes humiliation and domination, practices that are at odds with the way we were created as equals and at odds with honoring our spouse's bodies as temples of God's Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:18).
3. - Even Hebrews 13:4—"The marriage bed is not to be defiled"—this does not give Christians a blank check to engage in any sexual behavior as long as it's consenting adults.
4. - Our bodies are as sacred as our souls; our bodies belong to God first (1 Cor. 6:19-20) and then our spouse (1 Cor. 7:4). There are some things you cannot do with a sacred vessel.

What I like us to take away from this time is this. Books and movies like Fifty Shades of Grey can be an opportunity instead of a threat?

1. You don't have to read the book or see the movie to enter into this opportunity and hear about God’s design for intimacy and sexuality among married men and women.   The fields are ripe right now. Fifty Shades of Grey means we can talk about another model of sexual pleasure, one created by a God who made our sexuality.
2. By talking about this movie we can offer hope. Maybe there is someone here or people you know who have been sexually abused in some way. And this is an opportunity to talk about what it means to use and abuse others with sexuality. We can bring health and restoration to people by making them aware of their brokenness and their thirst for healing.